Show Me, Don't Tell Me
Attention screenwriters: voiceover is a cheat. Sometimes it's unavoidable, and every now and then you can make
it work in your favor, but as a general rule:
If you can't come up with a way to show something on a screen, maybe the thing
you're writing shouldn't be a film.
I'm not proposing MPAA regulations--rated HV, for heavy voiceover, or MV for moderate voiceover?--but at the very least movie critics should warn us about this stuff. How you can give a positive review when a film hasn't quite been written is beyond me.
So in lieu of professional warnings, someone needs to compile a list of voiceover offences so that we can avoid those wasted trips to the theaters and video stores.
Why bother with dialogue or visuals when I can just quote the novel?
Fight ClubHere's a strange case: heavy voiceover at the start of the film, and then there's that section more toward the middle where Ed Norton explains the things Brad Pitt does (remember the catering and projectionist stuff?) that's not voiceover, but a direct address to the camera, which worked so much better. And, given the nature of the situation, I think they needed some voiceover to pull it all off. Still, half of it could have been easily pulled out.
Jesus' Son
Apparently this film got much better at the end. I didn't make it that far.
Personal Velocity
Nonstop voiceover, from a man who has nothing to do with the film, including gems like, "She felt the ambition drain out of her like pus from a lanced boil." The worst offender I've seen to date.
The Virgin Suicides
I spent the entire movie trying to figure out which one of those boys was supposed to be narrating the thing. That and making a mental list of synonyms for "vapid."
Wonder Boys
Few things are more off-putting than Michael Douglas' voice emanating from nowhere, pointing out the obvious in every scene.
Is voiceover less tiresome in another language?
AmélieIt's stylized, and clearly intentional (as opposed to pure laziness), but there is an awful lot of it.
Y Tu Mamá También
The first time the narrator interrupted this film I thought I was in for a torturous two hours, but I think the writers pulled this one off by giving the narrator distance from the main characters and a touch of omniscience.
Voiceover Success Stories
ElectionProving yet again that rules were meant to be broken, this film effectively uses dueling voiceovers.
Pride and Prejudice (BBC mini)
Darcy's letter (episode 5?) is just that. He wouldn't say those things out loud, yet the information must be conveyed to Elizabeth and the audience. Bonus points for giving the novel's famous opening line to a character.
The Singing Detective (BBC mini)
Voiceover is the only way to ease the transition between fantasy (that the main character is writing as we watch him) and reality.
Send me your voiceover horror stories: vo@kollmers.net
Show, Don't Tell